From the June newsletter…
As gas prices rise with the global temperature, many of us are feeling a little uncertain. Our place in the world seems more and more undefined as our species, our country, and ourselves start looking around with the question, “Where do we go from here? What does our future hold? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Next generation?”
The left side of our brains is futilely trying to find a pattern to explain our misdirection. Our desire to control is bound up with our sense of just fairness and a wish to manifest what we think is the best outcome.
We are told to try and figure out what we want to do with our lives. We major in various coursework, we listen to career counselors, and we try to find something that fits us in order to have the kind of life we think we want to live. It all makes sense; except that every fact upon which we base these decisions could change at any second.
So, in this whirring and roaring current, what, then, is the right action? How do we know in what direction to apply ourselves and our lives? Where is the map and how do we get a look at it? And can we trust Google to tell us the fastest way there?
This morning, in the midst of my own such questions, I am reminded, when I look within, to toss aside my inclination to plan, to visualize, and to yearn. I am reminded that what will pass in the next day, or week, or year is beyond my knowing.
I therefore have two choices: exhaust myself trying to get a glimpse of what I cannot see, or relax into the “not knowing” that is my only certainty.
Finally, I am reminded to quit asking, “What do I want to do with my life?”, and instead offer myself to Life, in service. It is an offer that drops the paddle and the map from my hands with a willingness to be taken where I am needed, and to be shown what to do when I get there.
Which brings us back to today. Us, mired in that sea of uncertainty, wondering what our next action should be. I am inspired to do one thing first, and it is the only thing that I know for certain.
I offer myself in service. I don’t know where the current is taking me, so I will give myself up to its wisdom.
I don’t know how to get where I want to go; a fact that can scare me so much that it brings tears to my eyes. But in the face of not knowing, it settles my fear a bit to let go, to sink and rise, and to be on the lookout for opportunity.
How can I be of service today? I’ll start by writing this. After that, God knows. I am certainly aware that there are things on my calendar; but I think that I’ll wait…here. Now. And see what comes.